C is for Cthulhu

Why conformity kills your creativity and how a little chaos can save it

James Garside

Nov 11, 2024

You’re not supposed to read this.

This is part C of my Alphabet of Need — an A to Z of pieces that explore the qualities you need to embody as an artist.

Here’s what I’ve got so far:

A is for Anarchy. B is for Buddha. C is for Cthulhu. Why? Because fuck you.

This is my list. It doesn’t have to make sense — to you or anyone else. If you want the world to make sense then make your own list. Do you see how that works? Self-expression is the point of art — not explaining it to other people.

That was me. I said that. I have thoughts.

You see, there’s a worrying trend on the internet these days. It will kill your creativity and stop you dead in your tracks as an artist if you let it. How do I know? Well, because I let it for far too long.

No-one cares what you think unless you’re rich or famous.

You’ve got to pick a niche. You’ve got to stay in your lane. You’ve got to create in a way that pleases and serves your audience. At least that’s what they try to tell you.

That isn’t art — it’s marketing.

You shouldn’t have to make your art serve others. You shouldn’t have to spell it out for people or draw them a map. You shouldn’t have to smoosh it up like baby food to make it more palatable. Here comes the Choo Choo!

Art is an end in itself.

I’m a freelance journalist with a journalism qualification and everything. One time I wrote an article full of my best advice on content creation. An editor asked me to pretend that someone else wrote my advice. Such as someone famous who had written a book on the subject.

I declined and they published the piece as it was.

I’ve infinite respect for this editor and like them a lot. I understood where they were coming from. I’d even say that they were right. And, to be fair, they did publish the piece without changes. But it still rankled me and stuck in my craw.

It killed my desire to write for about six months.

I’ve had my bellyful of the crap that passes for art these days. The internet is full of fake productivity advice churned out to keep the masses happy. It offends me to think that the only way you can express yourself is to regurgitate the thoughts of others. Like some sort of self-help bird feeding worms to its young.

Fuck. That. Shit.

Now, I’ve never been good at marketing myself as a writer. For the longest time my profile said:

“I’m a writer of words. I sell nothing, serve no-one, and only want you to give me money or make me a cup of tea. Sign up for my newsletter if you like getting emails from people you don’t know. Hashtag #GetInMyFunnel!”

But if you read this, and keep on reading, then I guess it’s meant for you after all.

C is for Cthulhu

“No one knows whether or not he is a writer unless he has tried writing at night.”
― H.P. Lovecraft

This is for all you creatives out there in the internet void.

Creatives; doesn’t that make you want to puke? I’m a freelance writer — I help fellow writers and artists to do their best work. I flinch when people use creative as a catch-all term for anyone who does creative work. That doesn’t stop me from using it now though does it?

In any case, it’s time to loosen the reins.

I’m sick of writing anodyne self-help shit for other people. I want to write about art and creativity and magick. I don’t pretend to be an expert in any of these things. But my voice still counts — as does yours.

Here are my thoughts for what they’re worth.

Chaos is part of life. You need to acknowledge the chaos, creativity, and magick in your life and your art. That is all. T-shirts are available upon request.

I once had an idea to pit Sherlock Holmes against mythical public domain characters.

For example, regardless of the actual title, you could have:

Sherlock Holmes vs Dracula
Sherlock Holmes vs The Loch Ness Monster
Sherlock Holmes vs Cthulhu.

It turns out these sort of books already exist.

Why does nobody tell me these things?

If you’re an artist of any stripe then you would do well to let some chaos into your work — if not your life.

Cthulhu has big plans for you — that doesn’t mean you should let them plan your day. Ok, I’m reading H.P. Lovecraft’s weird fiction again, so sue me. I’m trying to say something clever about art and stuff. This is an analogy of sorts but I haven’t figured it all out yet — please work with me here.

Chaos is coming for you in some form whether you like it or not.

Cthulhu is one of the most formidable of the Great Old Ones. The Great Old Ones are terrifying. They’re ancient cosmic horror that once ruled the earth. They’re so vast that mankind seems irrelevant in comparison.

Our problems are minuscule. This is what I’m saying.

In his fiction Lovecraft depicts Cthulhu as a huge human-dragon-octupus-like monster. Calamari with wings — or something like that anyway. A cult of worshippers keep the faith about Cthulhu. They say that Cthulhu is dead but dreaming and will one day return to wreak havoc upon the earth.

Cthulhu should be your creative mascot from now on — trust me, I can explain everything.

Cthulhu is adorable. I love Cthulhu. It’s no secret that I want a pet Cthulhu. My friends promise that I can have a pet Cthulhu someday, but they worry I’ll try to take over the world.

Well, duh.

Yog-Sothoth Nyarlathotep! Shub-Niggurath Azathoth! Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn! Sorry, wrong meeting.

What do your friends say when they try to placate you?

I’m beginning to suspect that mine are trying to humour me. I love my friends, and they mean well, but sometimes they miss the bigger picture. What if the Great Old ones are much maligned and misunderstood? What if they’re on your side and only want what’s best for you?

Would you go out for coffee with Cthulhu?

What if the Great Old Ones aren’t all they’re cracked up to be? What if your average cat could wipe the floor with them? Let’s face it, cats can be assholes after all. As much as I love cats and mean that in a good way.

The point is reputation isn’t everything and is often misleading.

Life makes much more sense once you accept that the universe is indifferent to you. The universe has a wicked sense of humour. The universe is bitter, cruel and sarcastic — usually at your expense. The universe is trying to kill you for shits and giggles.

I’ll see myself out.

The universe is full of friends that you haven’t met yet. Also enemies that have it in for you. And a bunch of people that couldn’t care less. I’m not telling you how to live.

The universe is like Cthulhu but let’s hope that you can learn how to keep it as a pet.

It’s good to put your hopes, dreams, problems, and fears into perspective. At the end of the day you’re still driving the bus — or at least you might as well pretend that you are. What else are you going to do? Trust the universe? *hold for laugh*

Thank you, I’ll be here all week — Cthulhu says hi by the way.

This is part of my Alphabet of Need — an art project I’m doing for Alphabet Superset. It’s an A to Z of weekly pieces that explore the qualities you need as an artist. Here‘s what I wrote for A and B. Stay tuned for the rest.