Hi! Welcome to Chapter 23.
Become evil. Rule the world. Maybe drink tea first and sit down for a bit.
“I hope that Richard Brautigan will forgive me for writing this story.”
— Richard Brautigan (Revenge of the Lawn)
I am incapable of emotion, but you are making me chafed! Sorry, wrong meeting.
This is the secret post that goes out to paid subscribers on the 23rd of every month.
This month it is going out on the 24th because reasons.
This month, What Do You Want From Me as a Reader? Digital postcard from the edge.
Who wants to play video games?
Give me all your gold bricks!
I'm a freelance journalist — which is meant to sound more impressive than 'hobo writer bum' but that would probably be more accurate.
My newsletter Chapter 23 on Substack has hundreds of free subscribers but only a handful of paid.
I also have a fake astrology column called Asshole Astrology, that’s sometimes is funny and sometimes offers real life advice, but it may be time to kill it or turn it into a book.
I’ve had to put both newsletters behind a paywall. Free and Paid subscribers will continue to get posts in their inbox but only Paid subscribers will have access to past posts.
All posts going forwards will be archived a week after they’re published. Paid subscribers have exclusive access to this archive and will continue to get the secret monthly posts that are just for them.
My biggest challenge trying to make a living as a writer is *waves hands and gestures at all of the things*
My newsletter is just a way for people who like my work to get it. I don't have a compelling reason for them to sign up or to pay for the newsletter.
I don’t know how to monetise the newsletter beyond begging my free subscribers to give me all their gold bricks.
I'm allergic to marketing and twitch every time someone pronounces niche as nitch. I don't have a niche and if I had a nitch I'd put some cream on it or go see a doctor.
I keep trying to follow marketing and branding advice but my pitch usually devolves into:
"I'm a writer of words. I sell nothing, serve no-one, and only want you to give me money or make me a cup of tea. Sign up for my newsletter if you like getting emails from people you don't know."
It doesn't work but at least it's honest. What do you think people would gladly pay to subscribe for?
Either way, I hope you enjoy reading my work.
Best,
James x
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