Dare To Be an Agent of Chaos
Done is better than, um, not done
Daria is in my DNA
“I’ve been very busy procrastinating all day.”
— Daria Morgendorffer
Daria Morgendorffer has procrastination down to a fine art.
Today I attempted to channel my inner Daria to help me write. Needless to say, it didn’t go very well. I sat there, feeling grumpy and sarcastic, but didn’t write a thing. I’ve put off writing this piece for so long that it’s time to close my eyes, press the publish button, and say to Hell with it.
(Satanic pun intended.)
Sometimes, I read something I’ve written and think: “That doesn’t suck. It’s actually quite good.” Then I get a reality check, realise how little money I make as a writer, and think: “I suck at writing. I should do anything other than writing.” And that, my friend, is why I drink tea.
I’ve even tried to motivate myself by using pizza as a reward:
“I have pizza. What I’ll do is use pizza to motivate myself. Every time I finish a piece of writing, I get a slice of pizza. Let’s start wri—”
I devoured the whole pizza and wrote nothing — let’s face it, Daria is in my DNA.
Imposter syndrome continues to kick my butt. So I’ve decided to write this article as it comes — straight from the chaos within. Rest assured there’s a lesson buried in this mess, somewhere soon, I promise. It’s about your art, about your life, and about how chaos can be your friend.
Trust me, I’m a professional.
Daria says what?
“Can’t talk now. I’m chairing a meeting of the Resting Quietly Club.”
— Daria Morgendorffer
Watching Daria is a legitimate way to spend your time.
I recently rewatched every episode of Daria, which I hadn’t done since I was a teen. That show is chock-full of snark, sarcasm, and serious life advice. Daria is one of my few idols and role models from my formative years. I still love her best friend, Jane Lane, the most though.
Daria and Jane are both high school students — Daria is an aspiring writer and Jane is an aspiring artist.
I’m Daria at heart and want to hang out with Jane. When I rewatched the show it struck me how likable the secondary characters were. Even the stupid and annoying ones. And how much they actually liked Daria and Jane, and vice versa, once everyone got to know each other better.
Whenever I’m in doubt about what to do in life I ask: “What would Daria do?” Then I do what Jane would say instead.
I’m still with Daria about pizza though: “There is no aspect, no facet, no moment of life that can’t be improved with pizza.” Not gonna lie. It’s a sick, sad world. You need all the help that you can get.
At some point, I plan to write a proper article about this.
I want to write about how the show Daria relates to being a writer or artist. It would read like a straight productivity article for creative types. It would use the wisdom and life lessons of Daria and Jane to make interesting points. But that requires actual effort on my part.
Right now, I’m busy procrastinating and eating pizza. Okay? Ok.
Do you have time to get to the point?
“I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.”
― Mark Twain
Mark Twain is my favourite writer who half the time didn’t say the thing you think he did.
He’s often misattributed as saying: “I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.” It was actually Blaise Pascal who first said something similar in French. “Je n’ai fait celle-ci plus longue que parce que je n’ai pas eu le loisir de la faire plus courte.” Roughly translated: I only made this longer because I didn’t have the time to make it shorter.
I prefer the fake Mark Twain version, so let’s go with that.
What stories are you telling yourself? What do you want others to know? What’s the short letter you’d like to send out into the world about everything that’s going on in your life? Write the long version instead.
Here’s mine.
I’m messing with you. I’m not about to tell you about my life. You’re far too self-absorbed and wouldn’t want to read it anyway, right? Right.
Don’t worry, I’m much nicer in person.
Anyway, somehow I’m supposed to motivate you while my life falls apart. Have you ever been so sick to the back teeth of everyone that you start to suspect that you might be the problem? I ask for a friend. To put it country simple, the long and short of it is, people suck — myself included.
It’s a long story.
That’s what you say when someone asks you what’s going on in your life, right? Try being honest for a change. Tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Watch them run for the hills.
You’ve got to take your wins wherever you can find them.
Dare to be an agent of chaos
“I have nothing to declare except my genius.”
— Oscar Wilde
I want to work for an agency called Chaos.
The only reason I want this is so that on my business card it says, as my official job title, that I’m an Agent of Chaos. The same goes for what I tell airport security or the police when they ask what I do for a living:
Customs: Do you have anything to declare?
Writer: I’ve got the internet browser history of a writer.
*gets wrestled to the ground*
Are you an agent of chaos?
Chaos can be your friend. Embrace chaos, destruction, and discord. See if they hug you back. Throw paint on the wall and see what sticks. Do the work no matter how messy it gets.
I want to wear a T-shirt that says: “Nobody knows I’m a Discordian.”
Okay, so I thought it was funny. Discordianism is a satirical religion from the 1960s that celebrates chaos and absurdity. Discordians reject dogma, or absolute beliefs, in favour of relative beliefs. Or Catma, as they like to call them.
You can declare your genius to the world but it’s far more effective to act like one behind the scenes.
This is part of my Alphabet of Need. It’s a personal A to Z of the qualities that you need as an artist. Here‘s what I wrote for A, B, and C. Stay tuned for the rest. What qualities would you include in your alphabet? Let me know in the comments.