Tough Love Astrology [Substack]

22–28 June 2020

Here is next week’s horoscope for your sign.

It doesn’t matter when you read it, or which sign you are, as horoscopes are all made up.

Please ignore me — I’m just bitter.

After getting an MA in Creative Writing, training as a journalist, and a lifetime spent blogging and writing fiction, the thing of mine that gets the warmest response from people by far’s a fake horoscope column that I wrote off-the-cuff as a joke.

I’m not mad, just disappointed.

You see, I wrote a post called Asshole Astrology. It’s ridiculous the number of people who have said they love it, or that it was spookily accurate, given that I made it up off the top of my head.

People keep telling me that their horoscope was exactly what they needed. I feel like yelling at people: “You do know that I make this shit up, right?”

Maybe I should write a horoscope column. I don’t know whether calling it Asshole Astrology is too much (as opposed to something softer like Tough Love Astrology or some shit like that) but, regardless, peo…