I keep meaning to write a book about content marketing called "Get In My Funnel!" Thank you, I'll be here all week.
I hate writing about marketing almost as much as I hate marketing. So in lieu of that, as a place to start, here's a bunch of stuff I've said on social media about marketing over the years. In no particular order.
Hey, if the cut up technique was good enough for William Burroughs and posting pages from his notebook to the magazine publisher was good enough for Hunter S Thompson then this approach is good though for me.
Ok, ok, if this gets 100 likes or restacks I will make a longer piece out of it. I may even write in complete paragraphs and stuff. But seriously please tell me what you think.
Are you ready to get in my funnel?
A business isn't in the business of providing you with a service. A business is in the business of extracting money from you. The rest is marketing and propaganda. Sorry, wrong meeting.
People get confused when I express my thoughts and opinions. I find it confusing that people find this confusing. It's almost like I'm a real person with thoughts and opinions and not writing marketing copy or making a public service announcement. Don't worry, I still love you.
Sometimes I think I should become a satirical motivational speaker. It would basically be a word-salad of marketing, cliches, and ideas that I stole from other people. Would anyone be able to tell the difference? Would anyone get the joke? I worry that people would believe it.
I always thought that art was about self-expression. I didn't know it was about marketing. Had I known that I'd probably have done something else.
That last bit is a lie. I've always wanted to be a writer. So I'm going to keep writing regardless. But I'm sick to the back teeth of marketing.
I realise this is a personal failing. I recognise that certain writers are marketers par excellence. And I genuinely try to learn from them what I can.
But deep down in my little black heart of hearts I'd much rather write the words I need to write. To hell with marketing and damn all the consequences. I mean that in a good way.
Here's my Top 4 controversial opinions that will make you money, write your novel for you, make you sexy / attractive etc:
1. Tea is good and coffee is bad
2. Fruit tea is evil and wrong
3. People will ready anything so long as it's a list
4. Fuck you and your marketing bullshit
That's about as divisive as I get.
My tag line for Chapter 23 is currently: "Become evil. Rule the world. Maybe drink tea first and sit down for a bit." I probably should change it as very few people are likely to understand it, spot the reference, or get the joke. But it makes me happy so there!
My newsletter is a grab bag for all of my writing. Like the Buddhist said to the Hotdog Vendor: "Make me one with everything." But it does secretly have a central theme behind it. Namely that you might as well become the person you want to be.
In some places I say: "I help writers and artists to do their best work. Let's be part of each other's stories." But it sounds so fluffy!
I'd much rather succeed as an artist (of any kind) than spend my time grifting and marketing and selling other people on the idea that I have some sort of recipe for success. I don't want to be famous; I want to be notorious. In a good way though. I mean as a creative. Not as a serial killer or something bad like that.
"Create cool stuff. Travel the world. Live life on your own terms." That's probably the central message. I've never told anyone this before. So, I dunno, feel special or something.
I forgot that on some of my social media accounts it still describes me as: "Part-time vagabond, full-time grumpy arse." I think this is hilarious. But maybe I should change it to something more positive and upbeat. What do you think? I'm much nicer in real life, I promise!
I'm a writer of words. I sell nothing, serve no-one, and only want you to give me money or make me a cup of tea. Sign up for my newsletter if you like getting emails from people you don't know. Ok, so I'm not great at marketing.
Tea. It's usually what I want and what I need. A cup of tea solves everything. Anything else is just marketing.
"Join me on the road to 1k." And other pretentious marketing bollocks that I couldn't care less about. Yeah. My marketing strategy is not marketing. Do the work. Keep going.
I think the biggest problem is my mindset around marketing. I grew up writing as self-expression. I realise that marketers etc are highly skilled. But I see art and marketing as diametrically opposed. And feel like I'm in a world that values marketing over art.
It has come to my attention that I'm shit at marketing. Maybe also shit at writing. But definitely shit at marketing. I have no further comments.
I vibe with this so much. When I was a kid I thought that art was about self-expression. I didn't know it was about marketing. And I never agreed to work as an unpaid intern for the likes of Elon Musk.
I know I'm supposed to write some marketing bs here but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm a writer. I want to connect with readers and writers. That's all I've got. I pretend to be grumpy and sarcastic but my heart's in the right place -- in a jar on my desk!
Your goal as a digital writer? Say what needs to be said in as few words as possible.
Respect your work → Make writing easy
Are you writing for skimmers?
Fuck. That. Shit.
(NOTE: Marketing is NOT the same as art)
What I thought a successful writing career was:
• Drinking tea and writing lots
• Writing books and getting published
• Making money from my writing
What a successful writing career actually is:
• Twitter threads
• Boasting about how rich I am
• Endless marketing bullshit
I try all the marketing guff that you're supposed to do and none of it works for me. Is it because the ideas don't work? Or do I just have one of those faces that's unable to hide my contempt for marketers?
No. That was a rhetorical question.
Don't get me started on the fake ass bastards who send you marketing that pretends to be real connection.
A famous tech bro writer type pulled that shit with me. Their email subject was something like: "Re: Are you okay?" But it was really just a marketing email. When people pull tricks like this I unfollow them on general principle.
Writing and Marketing are not the same thing. There, I said it.
I'm sick of marketing, tweet threads, insipid quotes, hustle culture, LinkedIn, humble brags, and productivity porn. Writing and marketing are not the same thing. People seem to lap it up so by all means have at it. But count me out.
Alternative perspective: Marketers are some of the best writers in the business. Persuasive writing is worth its weight in gold. Writers should try to learn everything they can from copywriting. Marketing is a dark art.
I'd rather fail as myself than succeed whilst trying to be someone else. I don't have a funnel and DGAF about fake gurus with their bad marketing advice.
When marketing leaflets come through your door do you treat them like letters or throw them in the paper recycling? Do you stop on the street to talk to a canvasser like you'd talk to a friend or try to avoid them? Same goes for email newsletters.
You marketers say such weird things.
On my planet "impacted" doesn't mean to have had an impact on someone or something -- it means backed up with shit. So when you say your marketing has impacted many people's lives that's actually pretty accurate.
I'm sick of marketers who call what they do writing. You're not a writer expressing yourself; you're a shill trying to make a buck. That said, some of my best friends are marketers, and I try to get paid for my writing, so I guess I should take that back?! I'm sick of marketing.
I'm here if you ever want to chat. How's that for marketing? Did I do it right?
Buy my new book on marketing that I haven't written yet. It's called: GET IN MY FUNNEL!
I'm done with marketing. I genuinely don't give a fuck what you think about me. I'm done with all of your bullshit.
Let's sum up an article in a tweet because people don't read: 1. Here's my first point B. Here's my second point ?. Here is my third Conclude with some inspirational dreck about hustle culture. It doesn't matter what you say so long as you make empty promises. [#MARKETING]
Marketing is a dark art.
I don't want to do it.
This is basically how I feel about marketing right now.
My expression when people say they're a Top Writer at Medium but what they really mean is just that they're on Medium, and peddling the usual marketing twaddle, is basically the same as Hermione's whenever anyone else opens their mouth.
I'm terrible at marketing. A newsletter listing wisely describes the content of my newsletter as "Learn about writing and how to succeed as an artist." That makes way more sense than my tagline which is "Become evil. Rule the world. Maybe drink tea first and sit down for a bit."
I'm seriously considering describing myself as "Journalist. Author. Wizard." What do you mean I don't do marketing?
Why do you want to do magick? Do you seek power over others or power over yourself? If you want power over others, you totally missed the point. Study marketing, psychology, or politics. If you want power over yourself, meditate every single day. Either way, shut up about magick.
Hahaha. Nah. If I did that I'd become one of those marketing types and I just don't have the stomach for it. *looks innocent*
Me: I work at the intersection of travel, art, and the occult.
My Brain: Who needs marketing or niches when you're into cool stuff like that?!!
Me: Found my brand.
Most people writing online write little more than marketing wank. I don't want to write marketing wank. I don't wanna! *throws tantrum* Sorry, wrong meeting.
I swear if I ever write a book about marketing it will be called: "Get in my funnel!"
I'm done with marketing. I genuinely don't give a fuck what you think about me. I'm done with all of your bullshit.
I'm over Twitter since marketers moved in. Expect little more than automated marketing messages from me from now on. If you want to keep in touch with me then subscribe to my newsletter. Twitter isn't my job. I don't get paid to tweet. If it doesn't make money, then I don't care.
I told several people that their content strategy should focus on quality writing rather than marketing guff. They opted for godawful sales speak and skeevy marketing tactics instead and do much better than me. Don't write well. Make empty promises. People lap it up. Apparently.
I know you say that you're a writer but you've literally posted about nothing but marketing since the dawn of time. Why is that?
Marketer: I'm going to market at you so hard! Shut up! Stop talking! No time for questions! Only marketing! Behold my mighty sales pitch! (Ok, so I'm paraphrasing.)
Dear so-called top online writers, I don't understand why you get the attention that you do. What you say doesn't speak to my soul. It's just doom mongering, marketing wank, and productivity porn.
I've been listening to Bill Hicks since I was eleven. When I first saw him he struck me as a rare grown-up who spoke the truth. Here's my favourite version of that marketing bit.
https://youtu.be/tHEOGrkhDp0
I once literally got the reply "Fuck you and your marketing bullshit" because I told someone about a free event, that they could attend for free, that had been put together at great expense to someone else. I could have done a better job explaining it but it was a free event FFS.
You can read my work on Medium or Substack. Or not all. I'm not telling you how to live. That said, if you want to do both, you could sign up for Patreon for as little as $1 per month. Then you get to say that you own me. And if we meet up in real life I have to make you a cup of tea. Which I'd do anyway, but still... I'm not very good at this marketing thing, am I?!
I genuinely love my readers. But I'm sick of the drive by shooters who snipe at you if your work is ever behind any sort of paywall or you try to market yourself in any way that suggests your work took time or has value.
Logic: I no longer want the thing that I've been getting for free because you reminded me that this thing costs time, effort and money to produce. I thought that elves made it in the night. How dare you try to make a living from your writing. Fuck you and your marketing bullshit.
I don't have a niche. Unless you count me being one of the vanishingly small number of people who pronounces niche correctly. That's neesh, not nitch.
Nitches get stitches.
What's my benefit? Who are my customers? What's my niche? What's my unique proposition? I'm a writer. I write. People read. That's about it. I'm pretty sure that marketing is bollocks.
Was someone mean to you on the internet. Bless. I've received hate online for the weirdest reasons.
Possible reasons (from experience):
Political differences
Marketing or direct messages
Profanity
You tweet too much / too little
They dislike your taste in music
You spell things differently to them
You said something rude about Harry Potter
People are weird. I'm just saying.
I take an alternative approach to marketing. If I ever wrote a book about it, it would be called GET IN MY FUNNEL!
People: You need to promote yourself more.
Me: *promotes myself once*
People: SHUT UP, WHORE!!! (an actual response)
People: You need to do affiliate marketing.
Me: *mentions something other than writing, snark, or tea*
People: DUDE DID YOU GET HACKED?!! (an actual response)
"The biggest part of writing successfully is being talented, and in the context of marketing, the only bad writer is one who doesn't get paid." — Stephen King
Boom. Mic drop!
In case you can't tell, I'm not a fan of marketing.
Shove your hustle culture up your content marketing and niche down on it.
Well I'm here if you ever want to chat. How's that for marketing? Did I do it right?
I've clearly been on Twitter for too many years. It feels like there's only a handful of people left who talk. The rest are broadcasting their content like a firehose or trying to fake connection with bots and marketing shenanigans. If you need me, send me an email.
PS. Don't you dare send me an email.
Which pile of wank should you prioritise before you produce any content? Do you need a marketing plan? Audience segmentation? Promotional strategy?
Trick question. None of the above. You learn by doing. Create something. Share it. See who shows up. Talk to people. This marketing guff doesn't amount to a hill of beans when compared to someone authentic doing their thing. Create first, strategise later.
Document as you create, or afterwards, and use it for the next round. Don't wait to have all that "Before you produce one piece of content for your website." A documented strategy, personas for audience segments, goals and objectives, and promotional strategy, are all secondary.
I told a marketer this and he basically called me a twat.
Sorry, I mean respectfully disagreed.
It's almost like I read too much into things for comic effect.
I've been on LinkedInfor 10+ years and find it so useless that I often forget I'm on it. I tried using it to promote my work, like marketing wonks say you should, and crickets. Today I see a two-day-old account got thousands of likes and hundreds of comments on its first post.
There are plenty of nice people who are marketers.
I've finally figured it out! Either you're part of some sort of secret marketing cabal, where you agree to share each other's stuff on Twitter, or you're just a really nice person and like to share other people's stuff because you're helpful like that. One of those.
It's not like all marketers are evil. Just most of the really good ones.
Nike have blood on their hands. Nike are also good at marketing. Sure, that works.
Got a marketing email from NewsBreak encouraging me to write for them again as it's been over a month and they're worried I ran out of ideas. They stopped paying writers base pay per article and I don't write for free. The business lesson of Goodfellas is: "Fuck you, pay me."
Reasons people stopped supporting me on Patreon:
I write too much
I write too little
I was rude about astrology
I don't promote myself
"Fuck you and your marketing bullshit" (actual quote)
They wanted more fiction
I wrote too much fiction
Something that I said on Twitter
I don't take it personally when you unsubscribe from my newsletter, or unfollow me, but I do notice. Well, I get notified automatically. Otherwise I'd never know. It's none of my business why you don't like my work. I'm not judging you. I don't hold a grudge for longer than life.
Ironically some people don't seem to know when I'm joking. So literally every time I publish an article, send out a newsletter, or say something on Twitter someone leaves or says something snotty. So a vow of silence would be a better marketing strategy.
People have told me: I post too much. They don't have time to read. I post too little. Why don't I give them more to read? I don't market myself enough. And once on Patreon when I promoted a free event: "Fuck you and your marketing bullshit." So that's encouraging.
According to Newsbreak: If you like me you may also like: lifestyle, astrology, economy, entertainment, unemployment, books and literature, marketing, small business, journalism, and CAKES.
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
(I stopped writing for them)
I often think about quitting writing but what would I do instead?
Alternative career options: WordPress Developer, Public Relations or Marketing wonk, Press Officer, or some sort of Communications specialist. Basically Malcolm Tucker but with a broadband connection.
Brand message I considered: Marketing is bullshit. I'm a writer of words. I sell nothing, serve no-one, and only want you to give me money or make me a cup of tea. I write. You read. It's that simple. Sign up for my newsletter if you like getting email from people you don't know.
Marketing? Be sure to use your evil super powers for good.
PS. I'm so bad at marketing I forgot to say. I've taken a step away from Twitter recently. The best way to keep up with me is join my cult -- I mean newsletter. It's 100% free or you can try the paid version free for 30 days if you want to support my work. jamesgarside.substack.com
Book Twitter is Weird Twitter. Yelling BUY MY BOOK at strangers doesn't count as a marketing strategy. If you want to know how to do social media properly you can have my Twitter Guide for free.
A hi-fi retailer sends me their newsletter. All I've ever bought from them is headphones. Judging by their newsletter all they really want to peddle me is televisions. There's a marketing lesson in there somewhere.
Someone sent me a marketing email requesting that I ask them a question on social media. I asked them something relevant and they basically dismissed me for asking a stupid question. That's a pretty weird marketing strategy. Is phase one collect underpants and phase three profit?
It never ceases to amaze me that I get heartfelt individual personal replies to my newsletters and content marketing emails.
I once had a chat with someone who'd tried spamming me with marketing DM and that was basically their attitude. They do it because it works.
I hated their response. But you have to grudgingly respect it. And they're probably right.
I made t-shirts out of some of the stupid shit I've said on social media over the years. Someone pointed out that I should have included my name. I think they're a marketing genius. It genuinely literally never occurred to me that someone would want that.
Why do scummy marketing types keep saying things like: "I pray all is well with you and your family during this worldwide pandemic!" I think it's insincere and in incredibly poor taste. Skip the preamble and get to the point of your nefarious plans.
I love my Patreon supporters. I gave them all digital goodie bags of my work worth over £100 each. Not one of them claimed it. I publicised a free online event put on by someone else and about 10 of them stopped supporting me because they don't like marketing bullshit. I give up.
Medium isn't exactly a level playing field where original writing is rewarded. I'm finding it hard to justify writing there after all the changes. I was earning over $100 per month but this month it will be more like $5. Yet the people who do best write scummy marketing bullshit.
What's my product or service? What problem do I solve? I ask for a friend.
I'd seriously love to hear your thoughts on this question. It's what all the marketing and branding nonsense always expects you to know. What am I? A snark stockist? Depression distributor? Good with words?
My phone is set up so that it never rings and always goes straight to voicemail. Most calls I get are just marketing. If it's important, leave a message. I'll call you back. If it's not important, don't call. It's amazing how many people don't understand this or find it annoying.
I'm all about the genuine writing community -- as in a community of people who write -- but a lot of people on the #WritingCommunity hashtag are just trotting out the same old marketing bullshit. There's too much noise and not enough signal. I'm sick of this on Twitter in general.
No they're just really shit at marketing.
I keep meaning to record one of those marketing videos where I make you fall in love with me and want to give me your money and stuff but I always look tired, scruffy, or in need of a hug.
I'm paraphrasing but someone actually tried this marketing strategy on me: "Would you be interested in subscribing to our email newsletter? Tell me no or I will subscribe you anyway." Fighting words and proof that I need to write a book on content marketing called #GetInMyFunnel
It's amazing how much marketing guff sounds like a euphemism if you put your mind to it. Maybe I've just got a filthy mind. I'm pretty sure I can use this to my advantage when I write about marketing. #GetInMyFunnel
Off-the-wall marketing ideas? I like that. That's a lovely way of putting it. Plus, let's face it, that's a fair description of any marketing ideas I'm likely to have.
I'm in favour of and support anything that encourages authenticity over marketing tactics. Keep up the good work!
I'm trying to update my "professional portfolio" website jamesgarside.net but can't stand all the marketing guff. I'm just a writer. I write words. I hope someday to be able to live off that. Because ghosts can't type unless they're ghost writers. Help a brother out!
Someone said my writing was "Just a bit different." I'll use that as a slogan in my marketing.
The 'LinkedIn influencer' and 'marketing expert' who sent me a presumably automated message about how they heard about the business I don't have from a mutual connection I've never heard of has sent me a follow up message to say how much they enjoy the video content I don't make.
I'm not sure that "I give away all my writing for free because fuck capitalism" is the best marketing strategy. But it's my marketing strategy at this point nonetheless.
Hopefully people will realise I'm joking and DM me their email address so I can sign them up for free lifetime access to my paid newsletter. Where I may tell them what cartoons I like to watch but I'll never use scummy marketing tactics like that.
THANK YOU for responding. I agree with you entirely. As tempting as it is I've decided instead to give away access to my paid newsletter for free to anyone on Twitter who trusts me enough to DM me their email address. My marketing strategy: 'Have it for free; I hate capitalism!'
What do you mean my marketing skills could use some work? I think this is hilarious. 99% of marketing is shit. Most people are so boring and beige that I'd rather be grumpy and sarcastic than pretend to be like them. Unless you're paying me -- in which case I'm 100% professional.
Received a marketing email from a writer whose basic message was: "You must be stupid because you haven't bought my book yet. Seriously, I make hundreds of thousands of dollars from writing. So cough up." Wow. Does that actually work?
Medium annouced it will calculate earnings based on the reading time of Medium members. Within an hour the scummy marketer, clap for clap, how to write clickbait types were already publishing articles about what it means. What it means is the end of scummy marketing tactics.
I might start publicly sharing the Direct Messages that some people send me. Just the creepy and weird ones. Or the spammy marketing ones. Or the ones that make me fear for my safety and your sanity. You know who you are and you have been warned.
It's not like I haven't tried to learn about marketing.
I signed up for this American affiliate marketing thing. Every time someone says to me that they're "pumped to have me involved" I throw up a little in my mouth.
I've a growth hacker mindset to marketing and social media and often take a contrarian approach but get the job done. For example I'm learning how to succeed on Medium by writing on the platform and bootstrapping as I go. Should I keep this secret, teach it now or teach it later?
It's how my productivity stuff comes out. I just can't take it seriously. I've read so much self-help nonsense that I sort of hate it. Even when I try to write marketing stuff to promote my work I can't take it seriously, it just sounds so fake.
Hello as always my friend! I was just mumbling about marketing because I think people are silly.
I'd argue that it's traditional marketing that leads to scummy behaviour because the people who gave the BS advice (that I did the opposite to) are often the very same ones who do the fake BS that I find so annoying.
The way I think about growth hacking, marketing, or building a following is backwards to the received wisdom. For example: Don't follow someone just because you're interested in them. Do so if they -- or their followers -- might be interested in you. Piggyback on existing networks.
Whenever I hear marketing speak I imagine the person saying it is heavily constipated and straining as they say it. "I'm... just... doubling down."
I'm still trying to figure out exactly what your dastardly marketing plan is and when you'll put it into action. Especially when I have no money.
That's some incredible marketing psychology right there!
What words would you use to describe my brand? Or to describe me if I was a brand? Or my writing? Or my tweets? I ask for a friend who doesn't like marketing but dislikes not being able to pay their bills even more.
Whenever I read anything by internet marketing douchebags I mentally make constipated noises like I'm gurning and straining whilst I take a dump. That's what they sound like to me. "Crush it!" "Niche down!" "No pain no gain!" "To the max!" Drink some tea. You'll feel much better.
I've never been very good at marketing but I'm a natural at being a grumpy arse on Twitter.
That said, my new favourite thing is to 'accidentally' send unsolicited marketing messages to marketers and recruitment agencies -- especially the sort that use high pressure sales tactics -- it annoys the shit out of them. *looks innocent*
My own marketing skills are terrible, and I get tongue tied, so I'd get it very wrong. I'd be all: "Hello! I don't want your money! Please tell me about your cat and put on your pyjamas!"
I feel skeevy sending out any sort of marketing message to anyone. Even when they want to hear from me. Apparently.
What's my advice to writers who want to get published?
1. Write a good book
2. No seriously
3. Write a good book and it might get published
4. Write a great book and people might talk about it
5. They might even read it
6. Marketing won't make a bad book suck less
7. You can't polish a turd
8. Anyway
9. You get the idea
10. Good luck
Think I'm just allergic to content marketing in general. Stories are the lifeblood of art and truth, not at the service of marketing audience segmentation. As Muriel Rukeyser said: "The Universe is made of stories, not of atoms."
There should be an option to turn off Direct Messages. It's rare I get a real one, between literally hundreds of daily marketing ones, so I don't always see them. Plus if you've got something to say you can say it to my face in public. On the internet. Wait. You know what I mean.
I have an evil plan and a genius plan. It's basically the same plan, just with better marketing.
Reasons I unfollow people:
Bad grammar, spelling, or punctuation
Marketing Spam
I got bored
I've got fat fingers
My robot overlords made me!
My auto responder for direct messages.
Or an autoresponder so I can send them automated DMs back questioning the validity of their marketing strategy.
Eg. "Thanks for the automated marketing message. We're done here."
I try talking to marketing gurus and social media experts sometimes -- and treat them like real people -- but it just makes me feel skeevy.
Give us your email. Nope. We don't have your email. That's right. But how can we send you marketing emails?! Exactly.
Acting butt-hurt when people aren't receptive to your marketing guarantees that they'll never buy anything from you.
You're rude for doing back to them what they do to you? Yep. That's marketing logic for you. Set the teenagers on to them? :)
Put fish in a barrel. Get a gun. Now they're very easy to shoot. It's like shooting fish in a barrel. I'm talking about marketing. Shut up.
Do you know about cats? Cats could be an integral part of your marketing. Think about how you can market using cats. Do you know about dogs?
Anti-marketing is the best marketing :)
People who DM you to say things that: 1) should be said in public 2) should never be said 3) are just a pretext for marketing
Most DMs I get are automated spam or marketing. Unless it's a secret, or the location of buried treasure, please just tell me in public.
Ok, new rule: If you Direct Message me any marketing nonsense I'll just unfollow you and / or mock you publicly here.
The only problem is posting their marketing BS to call them out makes me just as annoying as they are
"By the way, if anyone here is in marketing or advertising...KILL YOURSELF. Thank you." -- Bill Hicks
How your internet marketing works: 1. I follow you. 2. You send me an automated marketing message. 3. I unfollow you.
Here's a thought / suggestion on #twitter and #socialmedia Don't send automated marketing messages. You're welcome.
I'm tempted to tweet every ridiculous automated marketing DM I get but that'd be about as much fun as getting them.
Any type of sales or marketing job is the worst.
I'm being followed by lots of so-called productivity ninjas, marketing wizards and social media gurus -- do you want to tell them or shall I?
Don't worry, at some point I'll have a book to sell -- so all my anti-marketing rants will no doubt bite me on the ass.
Quote from marketing DM: "Actually, I run the only REAL writing blog in existence today..." Me: *laughs hysterically*
Personalised marketing spam in response to my tweets?! This is why we're fucked as a species.
Do you remember when people used to talk to each other on Twitter instead of posting cat pictures, marketing spam and stupid internet memes?
#ruleofthumb Mention someone when you want to talk to them -- not as some passive aggressive way of marketing at them.
If you block people who won't buy your book, hate marketing, or are rude when you harass them -- perhaps rethink your social media strategy?
Yeah, I follow friendly creative types, mostly writers, who TALK with me and aren't just marketing.
If I unfollow you today, it's not you, I'm just in a bad mood due to other people's stupid marketing bullshit and ready to delete my account.
Urging me to buy tea isn't marketing so much as a statement of fact.
Sending automated / repeated marketing tweets to people who don't follow you on Twitter is spam and ineffective.
What I want is for people to stop sending me marketing like this -- I don't even follow you!
If you want me to follow you on Twitter but don't speak to me like a human / without marketing, I won't.
A book-marketing spammer asked me why I didn't follow them and then blocked me. What strange parallel world is this?
I told someone I suffer from chronic pain and insomnia -- that confession's now being retweeted by marketing bots or very insensitive people.
Sorry, my rant was interrupted by real people trying to hold actual conversations instead of sending out marketing spam. Do go on.
If your 'marketing strategy' pisses off the very people you're marketing to, then you don't really 'have' a marketing strategy.
Two conversations happen in my Direct Messages: 1) With lovely people who I'm glad to call friends 2) With idiot-bastards who send marketing
I'd genuinely love to know why people unfollow me. Not social media experts, politicians or marketing professionals -- I mean real people.
We could do with more voices and people full-stop. Instead of marketing, spambots and trolls.
If you go to the effort of marketing at me via the contact form on my website I'll go to the effort of blocking you on Twitter.
I don't care if North Korea's threats over The Interview are real or just a Sony marketing ploy -- I refuse to watch another Seth Rogen film.
Marketing at me isn't an act of friendliness; talking to me is.
Email: "We have you on record as being opted out of newsletter and marketing emails. Should you wish to change these settings..."
I'm being followed by lots of so-called productivity ninjas, marketing wizards and social media gurus -- do you want to tell them or shall I?
This account's now private. If you're in advertising or marketing, an SEO expert or social media guru -- don't slam the door on your way out.
And finally, little did I know back then but a tweet I sent in 2012 set the tone for my sentiments about marketing for over 10 years:
Dear Nike, Thanks for the unsolicited marketing email. I never gave you my email and it said 'do not reply' on yours so I'm telling you publicly to fuck off.
At least my brand is consistent.
I feel the exact same way about marketing🤣 In fact the vast majority of it just pisses me off🤷♀️
I'm going Marketing at Food Lion, tomorrow.
WTF,O?
AL